I WILL SAY IT by Arum Malachy A


Say it.

I will say it. Yes, I will.

I will open the fridge and let it freeze.

Let it hurt me the rest of my life. If it comes back hunting me, it will turn back haunting you instead.
I have always known that I would tell this story. It keeps worrying me. Kamar! Keeps making my today a tomorrow’s yesterday. That day he drove in with silver Mercedes Benz with the inscription Eby3542, he slowed down winning his glass, calling me to meet him. I met him.

He is a well groomed man. Really, Kamar has been a good fellow from the day I met him. I thought him a saint, and no doubt, he was a devilish saint.

One would wonder why he preferred smooching his fellow men and would discard the thought of spending his money on young beautiful entrepreneurial girls for his absurd intentions.

The first day we both met, I stood in front of his car. 'Hop in' he had ordered. But I had learnt from papa that I should see dangers and apply caution.

'No' I insisted resisting his steady glare on my face. I had better known who he is and why he said he likes me that much before I give away my fears. He wouldn’t please to chagrin me later on.

'You look better physically' he teased me one day. I had looked at myself carelessly. I knew he was only flattering me.

'I take nothing from strangers' I replied when he had handed me a parcel . 'I'm no longer a stranger_ this is small. I promise to give you anything, and any amount of money you want. I love you' he bragged.
I knew I wanted money and there is need to spend it, nonetheless, I could spend it so recklessly and that would be the funniest aspect.

But then, did I hear him pronounce that he loves me?

Innocently, one would think it was just 'love' but it is love anyways_the love of making love.
Kamar had unveiled himself courteously the following week after we had met.

Yes, he is just being plain, he knew what he wanted and how to get it. He had asked me to kiss him instead.

I felt a rash all over me that my mind flew like a shooting star. 'What do you mean?'

The answer he gave was weird, reaching for my hands. 'Hold me. I need you in my life' he continued mindlessly.

At first, I thought he was driven by the effect of the massive intake of Heineken, about seven bottles he had taken, I then became restlessly afraid, my shin bones stretching on every move I made the moment I realized that he meant his very words.

'You don't need me, you need God' I countered him, 'That's why you need to find a girl for yourself. I am a man like you, I am not a gay' I insisted, feeling disgusted.

If he had insisted in kissing me alone, notably, I would mistake it for being drunk as much as I have said, but he insisted to touch me, to harass me, to touch where the necessary is unnecessary.

He dared it.

I slapped his hands off.

I pranced from one corner to the other like a rattle, the anger on my face beating, rolling; it could sweep clean the depth of a river.

I swept clean his face once more with a superdeluxe slap which sounded 'Piam Piam' on his cheek.

I couldn't believe that I could be aroused, probed and tempted to slap my elder. Papa has always advised me not to raise hand on my elders. I felt angry when I remembered this. The fear in me is gone and I have defeated the weak part my life and disrespected Papa’s order. I have intimidated him too, but it is good I did that, Kamar would never try such next time even in his right senses. It was lesson_not a disrespect. “I am sorry Papa”

Kamar kept yelling me to come back to his life when I showed my back on him. 'I am sorry , I am terribly sorry' he apologised anytime he called on my phone. 'Don't let anyone knows this please.’ He had told me.
'What do you need for tonight. What do you want to eat? What is the colour the boxer you are wearing tonight?
Text me the amount of money you want.

What are your needs?

I can help you see governor, I can help you do this, I can help you do that' he kept texting me, to make me see reasons that he wasn’t devilish. Once I made up my mind, I have nothing to do with him till I kiss my last.
My fears whets more and more. I gave up on him because I wasn't moved by his feint promises. Kamar has proved to me that even the word 'Impossible' could say 'I'm possible'

Who would think that he is evil? He is just like other rich men. He insinuated the fear in me, and to grow up with the thought that all rich men are evil. This is to tell me that nothing goes for nothing. I wish I had never met Kamar, but I am glad I met him. He made me distinguish between rub and rob. I was only careful, fate have never rebuffed me my plea of keeping me away from any bad means of getting wealth.

Now, I have finally let the cat out of the bag. Kamar can come now. He can come and have me and take my life. He can come after me if only all he could see in me is to touch my body. He could come and kiss me to kiss his last.

Kamar can come!

He can come and dust the tiny letters that I scribbled on the wall. He can come and repaint his dark colour in my heart.

But Kamar, you could take away the muse but you can't wipe away the story. Bye Kamar. I wish I never knew you. I wish you never came. But Kamra can come now, he could come. But the fear of yesterday will pervade the thought of coming. I have let it go Kamar. You can now start coming.https://m.facebook.com/public/Arum-Malachy-Amandianeze